Five Things: Issue 249
Al Capone, croissants, mattering
A few weeks ago I went to a “devotional creativity” retreat put on by Jon Guerra. I went to feel inspired in my writing, which I did a little bit; and to rest, which I did a lot of. Mostly, I felt inspired by the hospitality. It was just good, like my take-homes are about pampas grass centerpieces, and letting people sit on a swing for an hour, and saying “we have an agenda, but we don’t have an agenda for you.”
It was also just nice to meet other people who are Anglican, or who write, or who have to use Planning Center for their job. It was nice to go to one of these things and not wonder if I’ll meet the love of my life, because the love of my life was picking me up from the airport on my way home. I liked having the freedom to be best friends with people for three days, and then in grace and with honesty, not pretend like you’re going to be long-distance best friends for life.
It was great! My cabin-mate took this picture of me, which I am grateful for.
I hope today is beautiful for you!
Number One: A piece on the importance of Mattering
I found this piece on the importance of mattering as it relates to self-esteem to be pretty fascinating. It feels a little, no duh, but also like, how can I help people feel like they matter?
Lil takeaways if you don’t want to burn a free NYT article:
To matter, people must feel valued — heard, appreciated and cared for — and they must feel like they add value in ways that make them feel capable, important and trusted, said Isaac Prilleltensky, a professor at the University of Miami and a co-author of “How People Matter.” It’s a two-part definition: feeling valued and adding value.
Mattering involves “more than feeling like you belong in a group,” he explained; it’s also being “missed by people in that group if you weren’t there.” When it comes to self-esteem, you can like yourself and feel capable, Dr. Flett said, but “you still won’t be a happy person if no one notices you when you enter a room.”
Then ask whether you add value in each of those four areas. Do you feel like a good partner or friend? Do you feel competent at work? Do those outside your immediate circle rely on you for anything? Is self-care a reality or a pipe dream?
Number Two: The Everything Bagel/Croissant at Splitlog Coffee
Splitlog Coffee in KCK is home to my favorite tree in the city, and now it is home to my favorite pastry: a croissant with a little cream cheese in the middle, topped with everything seasoning. FAB U LOUS. DIV INE. SO GOOD.
Number Three: A Bit Much
I love following
- or actually, I’m just now finding out she has a Substack, I love following MaryOliversDrunkCousin on Instagram. Fun poetry.Lindsay recently published a book of poems called A Bit Much. It’s a fabulous read. Tender poems, funny poems. Poems that will make sense the first time you read them, but will also stick with you throughout the day. If you haven’t read poetry since Shel Silverstein, now’s the time to start.
Number Four: Saltwell Farm Kitchen
Saltwell has been on our list since last January when my friend Emily told me I should go. One thing I love: a prefix menu. You tell me what I’m getting? I love and trust you.
It was an expensive date night, but a lovely, lovely one. And honestly, you’ll have to wait until next year, but driving south of Lawrence at sunset in mid-October was worth the price of the meal. The fall colors, just divine.
Back the restaurant, incredible ambiance, incredible hospitality, super yummy courses. Make it your next special occasion.
Number Five: “Udderly Astounding Stories about Milk”
I can’t remember what show or wherever I heard this, but I heard that Al Capone is a big reason why milk has expiration dates - but y’all know me, unless I hear it on Instagram reels, I’m going to do a google before I believe (part of my problem is I believe Instagram reels, I’m working on it.)
Hard to verify, but it might be true.