Throw a rock, hit something effected by inflation
One of the most interesting inflations to me is ratings inflation. Like everything in the world is 4.5 stars and if it’s not, it’s no good. Which is actually kind of unhelpful. I was visiting a friend staying in an AirBnB recently and I was so tickled by this fridge magnet:
Should five stars really be “nobody’s perfect”? It feels like no. But I can also understand that AirBnB owners live and die by five star ratings. I myself have passed on a 4.2 rating a time or two. God help me if my Uber rating ever goes below 4.86.
If we had to keep stars, but could unplug the internet and plug it back in with the following system, I would:
5 stars: wowee, zowee. This airbnb was everything and more. Worth every penny in every way. Best restaurant I’ve ever been to. This is not the expectation, but beyond it.
4 stars: everything was exactly how I expected it to be. The clothes fit true too size and lasted an appropriate amount of time. I sat in a comfortable silence for the duration of my Uber ride and listened to music that’s not my taste, but there were no funky smells. I feel like I got what I signed up for.
3 stars: things are a little off, but I’m still satisfied. I can make the dress work with a slip underneath. The AirBnb’s Wi-Fi wasn’t working well, and we ran out of toilet paper.
2 stars: disappointing, but not disaster. Change is needed. This item is an automatic return.
1 star: product/experience/all of it not as described.
All of that to say: I love when online review platforms have scales. Does the item fit true to size? Is this for oily or dry skin?
Things require pro and con lists, they really do. This dress is easy to wash, but it’s going to run a little short, the color really pops though.
Anyway. That’s me. Hope this week is beautiful for you!
Number One: My One Star Review of Google Fiber Customer Service
Don’t get me started right now. Our internet keeps just flopping out and coming back online. But it seems to be timed exactly with when I want to take a Peloton class. Plus the tech that came to the house a few weeks ago left cords strewn about. One star.
Number Two: My Two Star Review of the Old Navy Trousers
I left my gaucho pants in middle school and I am choosing to keep them there. They don’t look like gauchos on you though, just me.
Number Three: My Three Star Review of the live action Little Mermaid cinema experience
My main complaint is this: there were 35 minutes of previews making the showtime to ending credits experience over two and a half hours, which is just too long. Again, everyone has got to make their money. I want Hannah, beloved friend of Five Things and employee of major movie theater chain, to afford vacations. I mean it. But I want to show up on time, do 12 minutes of smash or pass on previews, watch one (1) Coca-Cola branded commercial, and then watch my movie.
The movie itself was cute, it’s pretty much beat for beat the animated Little Mermaid. Lin-Manuel Miranda really does leave his fingerprints everywhere he goes.
Number Four: My Four Star Review of the Shania Twain Concert
I had a blast! She sang like three new songs, but mostly old songs. She may or may not have written an new song on stage along the lines of “Oklahoma, I love you too.” My expectations were met in an extremely pleasant way. She looks incredible.
Number Five: My Five Star Review of Honey
I just love this dog. She threw up on my couch and I still give her Five Stars.