It’s the second Sunday of the month.
So we’re all filling out the connect card at church, and there’s a guest writer for Five Things.
I can’t remember when or how Hannah McLain and I got connected in Kansas City, but I’m so grateful we did.
Hannah is the friend you can text 5pm on a Friday and trust that you’ll be included in any includable plans. Hannah is the best, and I’m so glad she’s sharing with us this week. Hannah is smart and fun, and I think you’ll enjoy what she has to say.
Hi everyone! I’m Hannah McLain. I moved to Kansas City from Baton Rouge, Louisiana (GEAUX TIGERS) about five and a half years ago for a job in marketing at The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art. I like art and I like inviting people to enjoy said art, and it’s great fun to do that professionally. Other things I like include going out to eat, riding my bike, hanging out with my friends, playing volleyball, singing Goodbye Earl loudly in my car, and staying up late.
Before I begin, a little note about our gracious host, Katherine G. Corliss: I spent a week in Europe with Katherine this summer right after she broke her hand. Let me just say, her attitude impressed us all—she was a real trooper, and I don’t think she complained about it once. I, on the other hand, complained that “It’s so hot” approximately 115 times (as many times as there were degrees Fahrenheit).
Let’s get into it.
Number One: Coke List
Kansas City is a perfect city except the majority of the restaurants here serve Pepsi. I don’t want to say this is a sin, because it’s not in the Bible, but I know in my heart this is an act against God.
In my somewhat established tradition of ranking things (see my now moderately inactive Instagram account dedicated to rating bathroom locks), I have compiled an informal Notes app list—now available on this Google Doc for public consumption—of which restaurants in town have Coca-Cola, and then I rate the quality of that Coke on a scale of 1 to 5. The descriptions might only make sense to me, but if you drink a lot of Coke, you can probably discern what “wet ice” or “slick glass” could mean for the quality of your beverage. If you know of other places that serve a crisp Coke in Kansas City, please send them my way.
Number Two: Somehow, heartbreak feels good in a place like this
I love going to the movies. It’s one of the best things a person can do, I think. During the early days of covid lockdown I would go through the Chick-Fil-A drive thru then stare longingly at the shuttered AMC next door.
AMC A-List is AMC’s answer to the once-defunct-but-recently-revived Movie Pass, and for about $20 a month, you can see three movies a week, including the fancy ones like IMAX. Depending on what type of movie you’re seeing, you only need to use it once or twice a month to get your money’s worth, and they give you lots of rewards for concessions. Plus, if you go enough, you’ll start to memorize Nicole Kidman’s introductory monologue about the power of cinema.
Number Three: It's time to think about your Halloween costume
I’ve never really cared all that much about Halloween as an entity (in fact, as someone with an October birthday, I hated how my regularly scheduled Disney Channel programming was usurped by what I considered deeply uninteresting Halloween content during what should have been a month catered specifically to me), but ever since college I’ve tried to have a funny Halloween costume. Something that lands at a party but really lands on Twitter. My ideal costume is a pop culture reference from six months before or six years before that everyone kind of forgot about but instantly recognizes the second you walk in. This is, of course, a gamble. For example, when I dressed as Mason Ramsey, aka Walmart Yodel Boy, a few months after he went viral in 2018, people guessed that I was Jesse from Toy Story, Woody from Toy Story, or Mary Poppins (I personally felt I looked like a ventriloquist dummy).
Halloween traditionally provides women the opportunity to dress up as something cute—a cheerleader, a nurse, a sexy little alien, you name it—but my dumb ass keeps accidentally forgoing that privilege and dressing up as a boy. My past costumes include Nacho Libre, Napoleon Dynamite, Napoleon Dynamite Bonaparte (for work, during our Napoleon exhibition), this Magritte painting (also for work), and of course the aforementioned Walmart Yodel Boy. I’m still trying to figure out how to dress up as Tony Hawk without looking like a generic skateboarder (it should be noted I feel strongly that a Halloween costume is weak if it requires a sign, nametag, or label). I really would like to dress up as the Dick in a Box guys from SNL, but no one will do it with me. Yet.
Number Four: A book to read
Occasionally, in the midst of the inordinate amount of television I consume, I will read a book. I recently finished Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton. She writes about the boys and jobs and life experiences and self-realizations of her twenties, but she especially reflects on her close friendships with women. It made me laugh out loud on a plane, which some would say is the pinnacle of achievement in writing. Something I discovered while reading: I am 99.99% certain that the man she writes about in the “Bad Date Diaries” chapter entitled “A Mid-morning, Completely Sober Snog” is a man I met in October 2014 at our shared AirBnb in Glasgow, Scotland. Small world!
Number Five: Museum things
I obviously have to tell you some things about the Nelson-Atkins (or as my friend Hayden calls it, the Trace Adkins Museum). Working at a museum is interesting because in a meeting someone will say something like “the mannequin timeline is really sensitive for this project” and everyone just nods. I’m going to list a bunch of random facts about the museum that you can add to your Hinge profile as a conversation starter or say to impress (or annoy?) your coworkers at your next happy hour, but first I need to tell you to see our featured exhibition American Art Deco: Designing for the People, 1918-1939 before it closes in January. A note: it is our job as marketers to try to prevent exhibition titles from becoming the length of dissertations, but in some cases—like this one—we do not prevail.
Insider’s Guide to the Nelson-Atkins:
Our conservators discovered a teeny tiny grasshopper stuck in the surface of our Van Gogh painting Olive Trees (Josh Groban tweeted about it). They noted there were no signs of struggle in the paint, so it was probably already dead when it landed there. Bless.
The reflecting pool on the north side of the building is a work of art commissioned from artist Walter De Maria called One Sun/34 Moons. The sun is a gold-leaf rectangle in the middle of the water, and the “moons” are little skylights, ringed in neon, that shine into our parking garage. Next time you’re in the garage, look for the shimmering pockets of light along the ground and on cars.
The famous Gaunyin sculpture—one of the most popular objects in the whole museum—was carved out of a single tree trunk, with the exception of her right forearm.
Next time you’re in the American Art galleries, near the bathrooms on the second floor, look for this portrait of a lady who may or may not be flipping you off.
General admission is free, so you should come visit soon!
Thanks for reading! Remember to wash your emotional support water bottle!