Does the Queen of England know what a chicken tender is?
Happy Sunday, I hope everyone is having a great Lent. I really do not think that the Queen of England knows what a chicken tender is. She may have seen one once. But if asked, “what is a chicken tender?” She wouldn’t be able to give an accurate description, but she does know what a chicken nugget is. Who? Weekly talked about this this week, and there are two chicken tender places within two miles of Buckingham Palace. But I still don’t think she would know what a chicken tender is.
This issue is heavy on the tweets, beverages, and perhaps heavy on the girly things, I just got back from a Bachelorette party, what can I say?
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Number One: Whiten those teeth!
First, I had more than one person ask me if I thought Laura’s recommendation of Loving Tan is worth it, and I gotta say, 100% it is. I use the two hour express and I love it. Get the value pack. I tan every other Friday and it has kept the winter blues at bay. It’s a part of my “get hot on Fridays routine” that also includes using my favorite teeth whitening kit.
I waited to recommend this kit until after I had been to the dentist just to be sure that my teeth weren’t rotting out of my mouth. It rocks. My teeth are not at all sensitive from it, there are no signs of them rotting. The whitening power is not exactly long-lasting (although the box does promise “white AF”) but it will get you through the weekend after a week of black coffee and Diet Coke. Miles better than Crest White Strips in my opinion.
Number Two: A (non-existent) thoughtful piece on Katie from this season of the Bachelor
For those of y’all not keeping up with Matt James’ season, here’s some helpful context:
Katie rules. Katie got sent home, which wasn’t surprising because Katie and Matt did not have chemistry. There are rumors that Katie will be the next Bachelorette.
(And now for a little behind-the-scenes Five Things: I have a draft in my gmail that I just dump links into, and then sift through, and I SWEAR this link used to be a really thoughtful piece, but now it’s just an episode recap, so I’m going to summarize the piece that’s in my head, and we’re all just going to roll with it because we’re on level five of Jumanji.)
The jist is this: The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchises, once they have a hold of you, will not let go, and the author was arguing that they don’t want to see that happen to Katie. Every season features at least five “hey look at these clowns that used to be on the show, and they’re here to commentate a relay race.” There are enough former contestant-hosted podcasts to fill the Indian Ocean. And even though very few of these folks seem to be in thriving, committed, healthy relationships, the Bachelor maintains a short leash on their love lives, and they keep coming back for more. See: Clare.
Which like, duh. Asking a reality show based on competition dating to the be the model thriving, committed, and healthy relationships is asking too much. But the bubble has to pop at some point, right? Like the universe of 20-somethings shilling SugarBear Hair gummies, and 30-somethings with scrunchies can only be so big.
Number Three: Regionalism
I’m in an ethics class right now for school, and I love it. This week we talked about which utilities are human necessities/rights and it was fascinating. And really, what we’re asking here, is “what do we owe our neighbor?” I’ve been thinking a lot about this predicament presented by Mayor Q of Kansas City:
Like most of the middle of the country, Kansas City experienced below-average cold temperatures this past week. This created issues for everyone, and most especially the underserved and unhoused. In the tweet before this one, Quinton Lucas pointed out that area suburban law enforcement agencies were dropping off folks at KCMO’s emergency shelter.
Kansas City is a super interesting case study for this because it’s a metro area across state lines and there’s a lot of blame shifting on various regions within the region.
Number Four: Wine round up
Lazy Bones Cabernet Franc - a great dry, but not too dry red. The bottle has a naked lady on it, so that’s fun.
Liquid Light Sauvignon Blanc - crispy, crispy, nearly clear, like a fresh green apple, it’s going to be a go-to this summer
Gnarly Head Merlot - honestly I can’t remember what this one tastes like, but there’s a picture of of it in my phone, which means I love it
And as always: Celsius Sav Blanc, and King’s Prohibition Cab Shiraz, you cannot go wrong
Number Five: Gatorade
Every time I go on a weekend trip I get so pumped to drink Gatorade. Not in a because I’ll be drinking a lot of alcohol way, or even in a hydration in general way, but in a Gatorade is fun but only on the weekends away from home way. I always buy the 18 pack of mini bottles and drink like three, and no one else gets as amped about Gatorade, so then I come home with 15 mini Gatorades. And anyone who has been in my house in the last two years knows that you will be offered water, coffee, tea, almond milk, maybe wine, and if you’re lucky Gatorade.
I just love it.
Songs I can’t stop listening to: Runaway // Banks // One Touch // No Sleep (I miss college)